Zara zara fitrat badalne laga..dil mera..

You always need to have lil spaces you "own" where you should be able to zone out. Feel at peace. Feel the real you. Ok peace these days is over rated and very elusive but at least a space to feel the turbulence and identify it.

A quote that I came across recently got me thinking :

“Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness.”
― Maya Angelou

I get the part of crawling into space between the notes but loneliness somehow brings out a negative connotation. What is it with people these days that they are so afraid of being with themselves! I probably have an exaggerated scene in my head about all of this because I'm bordering on turning into a misanthrope,though, not the cynical kind. Am pretty happy being on my own for most part o the day even!

There is a difference between being lonely and being alone.

The common complaint of feeling lonely in the crowd is sometimes more because you haven't figured what's happening with you.

Music is that space for me where the right song played will so totally align with what I feel at the moment. You tend to find words in a song's lyrics which you obviously couldn't have thought of on your own. Rather I can't. So you know then, it is not so weirdly freaky for people to feel what you feel coz ppl are writing songs about them! Duuh! ;)

Ironically, I find the day's peace in traffic jams! B'coz it combines two of my biggest passions - driving with music! I have cleared my head about so many things in the worst of traffic jams because you are forced to sit there and inch. How long can you crib anyway? Might as well be productive! Well it will work only if you have the right music along with you. You most certainly cannot depend on the wretched radio for that!

In the nights after 9pm, radio can do some good though. Yesterday's song was such a classic, it just hit me out of nowhere. For starters I hardly think I will ever pull off saying something like that! ;) and secondly the song has such a wide range! For most part, you do feel like you aren't such a bad singer after all. Just when that happens, Asha Bhonsle goes hits notes which are beyond the ceiling. I tried singing along, disastrous!

Raat Akeli Hai, Bujh Gae Diye

Aake Mere Paas, Kaano mein Mere

Jo Bhi Chaahe Kahiye, Jo Bhi Chaahe Kahiye, Raat ...

Tum Aaj Mere Liye Ruk Jaao, Rut Bhi Hai Furasat Bhi Hai 

Tumhein Na Ho Na Sahii, Mujhe Tumase Muhabbat Hai

Mohabbat Ki Ijaazat Hai, To Chup Kyuun Rahiye

Jo Bhi Chaahe Kahiye, Raat ...

Savaal Banii Hui Dabi Dabi Ulajhan Siinon Mein

Javaab Denaa Thaa, To Duube Ho Pasiino.N Mein

Thaanii Hai Do Hasiinon Mein, To Chup Kyun Rahiye

Jo Bhi Chaahe Kahiye, Raat ...

Whoa! the lyrics :P

And finally! I never saw the video of this song until now. So yup sooo not happening! Mood changer? Oh certainly! Am sure the guys will love it! ;)

On a different note..

This is a post, I was planning on writing for a while now.

I visited a State home (run by the Govt of AP)in Hyderabad as part of my Foundation Course training. The home had separate wings for elderly women, girls, and children/orphans of different ages. Even though I did visit quite a few NGOs before, this experience was definitely one of the most profound ones.

We spent the whole day interacting with the inmates, had lunch there, all in all had a very good time. But it was pretty apparent that the best side of the home was in display as our's was a scheduled visit. A typical "high profile" (acc to them of course) govt visit of about 180 of us visiting the home, so I can't really say what the actual condition of the home was, I'm sure it was spruced up for us. Everyone was dressed in the best of the clothes. I guess, I will have to go back soon to see how painted the picture was.

However, it felt the most real with the infants/toddlers. There were just born preemies, one was born two days ago and picked up from a street in some town nearby n brought here. What we did get to see was, even though the kids who came to the home were severely malnourished, the ones who stayed on for a while recovered to become these adorable healthy munchkins, I just couldn't stop myself from picking them up!

What was heartening to see was the caretakers or "Aayaas" as they are called were showing off their kids albeit in a quite subtle way. They were proud.

Indian couples from across the world, NRIs have actually volunteered to adopt kids from this home. Kids with health problems are given a priority. At the end of the day, I realized I didn't know much about the process of adoption in India. I only heard it was cumbersome and it took a really long time for parents to adopt children through the proper channel.

Our 100-day long training also required us to research on any contemporary issue and submit a report, and I used that opportunity to learn about how children are adopted through these state homes in India.

http://www.adoptionindia.nic.in/ is the website that you can refer, to learn about the process in detail.

Just to summarize, a "Prospective Adoptive Parent" has to register with a specialized adoption agency preferably with the one closest to their residence or on the website given above. Central Adoption Resource Authority (CARA) is an autonomous body under the Ministry of Women & Child Development, Government of India. It functions as the nodal body for adoption of Indian children and is mandated to monitor and regulate in-country and inter-country adoptions. CARA primarily deals with adoption of orphan, abandoned and surrendered children through its associated /recognised adoption agencies.


All existing child care institutions housing orphan, abandoned and surrendered children are required to register with the State Government and apply for recognition as Special Adoption Agency(SAA). After being recognised as SAA, such agencies should register under CARINGS to be part of CARA network. CARINGS would facilitate linkages between agencies to ensure early rehabilitation of the child.


The FAQ section in this website answers quite a few questions on the eligibility and conditions for adoption. It takes time and a lot of effort to ensure that children find safe homes to ensure their healthy development. All the steps are indeed to ensure that the rights of the children are protected.

India is home to half of world's undernourished children which speaks a lot about the healthcare system in our country. Being one of the most populous countries in the world, a lot needs to be done to encourage adoption. There are several socio-economic hurdles that hinder one from adoptiing a child. In a country where female infanticide is rampant, expecting people to adopt a child, a girl child in particular is quite a hassle indeed.

How about have one kid of your own and adopt another? Yes genetics play a huge part in shaping your child. But you can effectively pass on your ideologies, belief systems, habits and so much more to your child even if you do not pass on your "sharp nose" or your skin colour.

Studies have failed to explain complex traits like intelligence whether it depends on nature or nurture. How intelligent and capable your child is depends on not only his/her genotype but also on the environment he/she has been brought up in.

Why not give it a shot? :)

My mixed bag

I have these strong mental images which have an amazingly powerful impact on me. One pretty glance, one meaningful smile, an evil smirk! I never forget them. They are etched for life. To connect with a person from across the room through a simple eye contact. Body language.. says it all for me. It's a confirmation.. a form of reinforcement of the sign that I have been waiting for.

All these emotions form a world which clearly distinguishes the "Sacred" from the "Profane" in our mundane lives. I thrive on them..

The last week has been one of the most festive weeks of my life.. and definitely on par with my sister's wedding 5 years ago. An unforgettable experience.. a very big event of your life. Why? Why is it such a big deal? Is it actually such a big deal? People get married all the time! Well at least most of them do and some more than once ;) :p Then why the hype?

It generates a feeling of euphoria, the kind that can be overwhelming. It helps you reconnect with your people. What the famous Socio-Anthropologist William Graham Sumner defines as Ethnocentrism is not such a bad thing after all..

He says we all have the core attachment which defines and shapes our identity.. the "In-group" feeling and it is clearly distinguished from the "Out-group" feeling. The Us vs the Them!

The extreme version of "We" feeling is seen in our day to day lives.. especially for us Indians. It's ironic that such an extreme feeling is also a very accepted and an ingrained feeling for most of us. Even though I have a very rational and not such a dogmatic view of Caste, (I am not as anti-caste as I was before I took up anthropology as a subject) I don't see Caste as such a bad thing.

What's wrong if a few people are proud of their lineage? What's wrong if people find security and strength being with people who have more things in common. Caste actually represents similarities. In a Patriarchal society like ours.. (Patriarchal in every way! No two ways about it.. Mind you!) It's just easier for a girl to move lock stock and barrel and start her life with a new set of people when their way of life is familiar to her's. That's it. That's the whole point!

What's insanely worrying is when there is not only an "We" feeling but there is an "anti-them" feeling as well. I obviously see no sense at all when caste is used as a pretext to ruin marriages. Khap Panchayats and their diktats! Can someone SANE explain the principle behind the concept of "Honour Killings!?"

Anyway getting back to the mental images, when the whole family was super busy in prepping for the wedding.. me being me.. I decided to drift away for a bit and go visit the very famous Tadbund Hanuman Mandir on Hanuman Jayanti.. the one day when it is the most crowded. Well it's the most festive that day too.. so why not!

I knew it would take me more than an hour in the queue and my poor bro saw no logic in me standing there when I could play my "Asst Commissioner" card n walk straight in.. :p

The point is, I find it so fascinating that such a huge crowd can be so orderly and put up with all kind of inconvenience just to visit the temple on that day. Walk in the next day and the temple is so empty.. why not come in the next day? I admire the faith of the common man. I have a great respect for US Indians. My true In-group feeling! :)

The visit though was worth all the effort. The temple was lit up and decorated so beautifully that one glimpse of god was actually enough! A bunch of kids were playing on the stage within the temple premises.. Little kids on tablas and sitars all just added to the grandeur.

And yes the moon outside almost seemed like it was drawn using a compass.Picture Perfect Setting!

So I walk out after the darshan and as usual there is the huge line of people begging for alms.. it's a common sight in all religious places isn't it? Yes it is.. In fact you would notice their absence am sure!

But the one image that is going to stay with me was that of an infant.. a little baby girl in rags on the road with nobody around her.. People walked past her like she didn't exist while the baby was in high spirits amused by the sights and sounds.

All those Skewed sex-ratios and facts n figures of health, poverty in India pop up in my head thanks to my insane prep.. but wait What do I do about it? I do nothing like everybody else..

I'm so lost. I'm confused.. and I'm sure this post shows that. Random Rant with no clarity what so ever!

It's fine for now.. I'm still a dependent with no income.. but later? Will I be able to do something for that child? Is my education going to help? The question is not Can I.. the question is "Will I be any different!?"

Nothingness!

I'm tired of explaining why I blog in phases. So yeah no more explanations, I blog when I want to and that's that!

Having made a feeble attempt to clear my conscience, I'll get to my post for today :

Even though mid-twenties seem to be as baffling as ever, it took only a 100 days to see myself in a whole new light! There comes a phase in everyone's life when you sooo wish you could skip a particular period and fast forward to a time when it's done. But there's nothing like the process of actually emerging out from the other side.

I did it!

Life's so much more clear now. I not only have a sense of direction, I also know "it's all in my hands!"


As I say this, I have a strange feeling that I actually hear a chuckle from the Man sitting above. Yeah Right! ;)